15 March 2006

If you can't take the heat ...

... get out of the kitchen.

Which is just what Chef, the sex-obsessed South Park character voiced by soul man Isaac "Shaft" Hayes, did this week when he quit the show. His raison d'exit? He says he's fed up with "intolerance and bigotry," but considering the the satirical cartoon series has made its reputation on just that since it debuted a decade ago, something else must be involved.

According to London's Independent, the show's creators, "University of Colorado graduates who never quite shed their student sense of humour" Matt Stone and Trey Parker, suspect
the true cause of Hayes' annoyance is a notorious episode aired in the United States last November - and yanked from the air in Britain for legal reasons - which targeted Scientology and suggested, in characteristically unsubtle fashion, that the religion was a bogus pile of sci-fi claptrap designed to hoodwink people into forking over their money.

"In 10 years and over 150 episodes of South Park, Isaac never had a problem with the show making fun of Christians, Muslims, Mormons or Jews," ... Stone said in a statement. "He got a sudden case of religious sensitivity when it was his religion featured on the show." Stone added, however: "Of course we will release
Isaac from his contract, and we wish him well."
As do I. Based on his experiences with Scientology, the pseudo-faith founded by science fiction author L.Ron Hubbard, I'd say he'll do just fine without the South Park checks he's been cashing for nine years. Here's what Hayes has to say about the subject:
Scientology is the gateway to eternity. It is the path to happiness and total spiritual freedom. Until one has experienced the technology of Scientology it’s unlikely that one will ever experience these wonderful discoveries. I know because it has worked for me. The more time and effort I invest, the more I receive. I highly recommend it.
And just for a little context, here' s what some other folks have to say about their way of life (Some are pulled from the Scientology Kills website, others from the official Scientology site -- can you tell the difference?)
Were it not for Scientology, I would either be completely insane or dead by now. I am forever grateful for the technology of Scientology and to Mr. Hubbard who dedicated his life to helping man and this planet, as well as to the people who have dedicated their lives to helping others through Scientology.
-- Lisa Marie Presley, celebrity without portfolio

Scientology is sanity and if people who aren’t in Scientology knew just how sane their lives could be, they would run to find out about it.
-- Anne Archer, Actress

To tell you the honest-to-God truth: without Scientology, I would be dead.
-- Kirstie Alley, Actress.

Before Scientology I had no idea about being in control of my vehicle and therefore had my fair share of accidents. After each shift I would be wiped out. Now, I handle my car with certainty and do the impossible as far as my clients are concerned. I’m rarely stressed and when my shift is over I still have plenty of energy to play with my young son. Not bad for an old coot, eh?
-- Henry Baumgard, Taxi Driver

Of course, it's just coincidence that tonight's South Park re-run is the offending episode.

2 Comments:

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